51: WHITEOUT

Problems on the Bakerloo line meant that I missed the movie I was planning to watch (see number 52) and was therefore subject to leftovers. Always a risky situation. Whiteout is based on a comic book that I always wanted to read, thus guiding me to my second choice.

Damn you, Bakerloo line. But I suppose it was my own fault. Sometimes you've got know when to turn away. Sure, my attempts at salvaging the night weren't entirely foolhardy, but maybe I would have been better served going for a drink in a bar somewhere, or playing pool with friends, or jumping in front of a bus.

It could've been because I missed the first couple of minutes, but this movie had zero impact on me. It elicited no emotion. It was as if I'd sat in a cinema for 90 minutes watching a blank white screen - no, that's not true - a blank white screen would've been impressive in its audacity.

Avoid this one - unless you want a spare 90 minutes to think about something else.

3 out of 10

40: TRANSFORMERS: RISE OF THE FALLEN

Early Saturday morning at the movies seems to be the way forward - hardly anyone goes! Or maybe it's because no one goes to the Cineworld in Staples Corner. Why put a cinema in the middle of a business park? Weird. Take note Cineworld: there's a perfectly empty Bingo Hall on Kilburn High Road waiting to rise up again as a new cinema!

This is such a confusing movie - the plot is incomprehensible and the action scenes are impossible to follow. Round of applause if you can follow who's who where and when in this movie. The effects are good but the Transformers themselves are overly detailed and complex to the point I couldn't see where their heads were half the time. Lines are corny, acting wooden and the writers have a frustrating habit of changing the rules in order to move the plot forward. I mean, when did Transformers start disguising themselves as people a la Terminator? Disappointing.

3 out of 10